Chapter 19 - Departing with the Secrets
The taxi stopped as it finally reached the airport, Cesca looked out the window to the hustle and bustle of people and many suitcases, “That will be £39.55”, The driver said, Cesca pulled out her purse from her rather lovely bag, unzipping it and counting out the money precisely, “Thank you very much”. The driver was particularly pleasant, he opened his door and began to unload Cesca’s bag, “Going anywhere nice?”, the driver said as he put the bag down, “Spain”, Was all that Cesca replied with, “Well have a lovely time”, Cesca began to walk away as she said “If you call being in court fun”, Cesca carried on walking whilst the driver stared into the back of her head, he was slightly confused but simply messed up his hair got back in the taxi and drove on. Cesca approached the entrance to the terminal building. She sighed, this didn’t feel right, she felt so alone, empty and unhappy, three feelings she hadn’t felt for over a year. Cesca wished that she had taken Jonah up on his offer; she needed him more than ever, she had once again been her stubborn self, however she knew at the same time that she needed to do this for herself, it was the last thread that was holding her back from fulfilling her future with Jonah and Mia. She had her family now, there were no more secrets, hiding or the fear that someone might find out about their secret love affair, It was all out in the open, people were beginning to accept them, though there were obviously the few that weren’t, Ruby Fry for instance, but Cesca had built up the strength with the help of Jonah being in her life to get through it, brush off the snarky comments and live her life to the full. However she had to take one day at a time and these next few days were very important ones, the day she faces her family and the pain her dad has caused them all in front of a court. Cesca scanned the board of departures looking for the word Seville. There it was third from top, departs at 7.45 pm. Cesca didn’t have very long, it had taken her an hour to get up there and it was now approaching 6.58, so Cesca headed for the departure desk, there wasn’t a particularly big queue so Cesca was seen very quickly. “Next please” a lovely and very friendly lady said, Cesca kicked her bag along the floor with her foot, she reached in her manic bag once more, pulling out the booking reference and her passport, the most crucial items she had with her. She loaded on her bag and watched as the lady skilfully placed the stickers to identify where the bags where headed for. “Thank you”, Cesca said not entirely with it, “Glad I can help”, The lady tried to cheer Cesca up, she could see something was on her mind, Cesca approached passport control when she suddenly heard her name, loud and clear coming from behind her. She chose not to turn around as she wasn’t entirely sure that she had heard it, despite however clear it was. But just as she had made her decision she heard it again and this time she turned around, but not in her true happy and flirty way. She turned round apprehensively, she was almost a wreck she hated not being with Jonah and it had only been just over an hour. “isn’t this a small world”, Karen said as she began her conversation with Cesca, she too was beginning to see something wasn’t right, Cesca approached passport control, showing them her passport before being allowed through to have her bag scanned. The fishers, Karen, Bex, Jess and Harry followed in her footsteps as they began the long process of passport control, Cesca was waiting to reclaim her bag as Karen decided now was the best time to ask the question that had been bugging her for the last 5 minutes “Cesca, you okay?”, Cesca tried to show that she wasn’t as glum as she really felt inside. “Yeah I’m good, sorry. It’s just getting late. So where are you heading out to?” She asked trying to give her the chance to act normal, as it were. “Were all of out to Seville, need to get away from Rochdale for a bit, use the time off to recuperate”, Cesca’s face was stunned, how could this be happening, The Fishers were going to Seville, Cesca already felt like crying but now everyone was to know her business, she would once again be the talk of the school when she returned back at work. She ignored Karen as she went to collect her bag, clutching it as she picked it up and placed it back over her shoulder where it was originally placed. She began to walk out to the departure lounge as Karen, spoke to her children, “You go occupy yourselves, we haven’t go too long”, She handed them over some money before catching up with Cesca.
“Cesca” She called out, Cesca turned around with a face that showed no signs of happiness. “Come on”, Karen said suggesting they should sit down and talk, Cesca was grateful and followed, she wasn’t quite sure what to tell her but she felt like talking about how she was feeling hoped it might make her feel better. They both sat down on the cold, rather uncomfortable metal benches that lined the floor of the departure lounge; there were shops, cafes and restaurants. “Cesca, where’s Jonah?” Karen was worried that something had happened between the pair of them, they had fought so hard to be together, she really hoped that the whole thing wasn’t a teenage fling or crush, she was pleasantly relieved when Cesca replied with “He’s at home, with Mia”, her voice was slightly emotional, she was beginning to choke up, Cesca let out a cough attempting to clear her throat. “Home?” Karen asked, Cesca began to break down in tears, she pulled out her phone and gazed down at the photo of Jonah holding Mia when she was only a few hours old, she stroked her thumb across the screen as the tears began to pour. Karen wasn’t so reassured, this wasn’t the way you acted unless you weren’t together, something was up, something serious had happened but what?, “Cesca, what’s going on?”, Cesca tried to compose herself through the tears that just seemed to carry on running” It’s my dad”, She sniffed as she wiped the tears that were now steadily stopping and being replaced with hiccups. “Is he okay?”, Karen was showing complete fear, she was genuinely worried about Cesca’s dad, Cesca was a valued member of her staff, despite the past, her welfare mattered to Karen, whether they were in or out of school their titles didn’t change just because they were on holiday, she was still a head teacher and Cesca was still one of the teachers that worked at the school. “He’s facing court”, Karen was honestly quite shocked, she hadn’t expected that answer, she was almost envisioning Cesca saying her dad had, had a heart attack, but then she remembered that was her excuse for originally resigning. Cesca didn’t quite know how to tell Karen that her dad was a violent and very sick man, “ He ... he beat my mum”, Cesca whispered under her breathe, Karen gasped, this must have been hard for Cesca, she lives thousands of miles away there was no way for her to stop this from happening or be aware that it had. Cesca was beginning to feel the positive effects of opening up to Karen and began to tell her more, she needed someone other than Jonah, who would obviously always take her side on anything, to express how they felt about the whole situation, “So are you going out to support your mum?”, Karen asked, Cesca took a deep breath in before saying “I’m a witness in the case”. Karen couldn’t quite understand how Cesca could have seen anything, she had been at school for the past year, she hadn’t been out to Spain, her family had visited but that was all that Karen knew. Cesca put her out of her misery, “My relationship between me and my dad was a disaster, when I was younger about 13 I caught him... having an affair.”, Cesca paused before carrying on with her story, “He threatened me, giving me a kick, a warning as to what was to come, he told me to keep it a secret, if I was to ever tell my mum, it would kill her”, Cesca began to fiddle around with her phone once more, Karen was in complete shock, she thought that her family had, had it hard. But what had happened to Cesca was devastating, that poor women subjected to brutal harm for so many years, the guilt of holding a secret as dark as that with the sheer fear of being physically abused. “Cesca, I’m so sorry, how did you finally tell your mum?” Karen felt that being supportive was the best thing to do, she was a head teacher she knew the strength of talking about difficult situations; she knew that the power of talking really did make you feel better. “When I and Jonah were finally back together, we had to tell my parents......so I called them and that slowly led to arranging dates to visit. I was thrilled, I hadn’t seen my sisters and mum in a few months, they were so supportive of the whole situation and none of them judged me for falling in love”, Karen gave an awkward twitch, she felt awful. “Sorry Karen, that wasn’t aimed at you”, Karen smiled, she didn’t think it was, Cesca was simply telling her what had happened, and she wasn’t going to judge her for that. “It was great to know that they were there for me, but then I had the fear of my dad, I didn’t tell Jonah. He didn’t need to know the truth, but then it all came out slowly piece after piece.....he tried to hit Jonah, Mia was only a baby”, Cesca began to stress, Karen quickly gave her an arm, gently rubbing her back, reassuring her, allowing her to carry on “and then he turned to my mum, he always turned to my mum”, Cescas words were dark and full of sorrow, Karen understood every word, she felt pity for Cesca and most of all she understood why Jonah wasn’t there, she also knew like many of her other colleagues how stubborn Cesca could be and how she used asking for help as a last resort. She knew that Cesca would want to do this for her mum, she wasn’t a selfish person, she had a huge heart and wanted to please everyone except by doing this she wasn’t pleasing herself. “Come on, let’s go grab some coffee”, Cesca smiled at Karen’s words she was finding comfort in knowing someone at the airport, she wasn’t feeling so alone though was still experiencing the pain of the emptiness. The pair settled at a coffee shop, Karen insisted on paying, she felt it was the least she could do for Cesca after everything she had just told her, she knew this was to be a hard trip for her, going back home but not for the most pleasant reasons. “Here is you latte with caramel and whipped cream”, Cesca smiled, that was her favourite, Karen had been to enough out of school meetings to know that coffee would put a smile on her face, but not the same smile that Jonah gave her. “So where exactly are you going?” Karen said whilst stirring her coffee that was piping hot and pouring out with steam. “Seville, funnily enough, I grew up there and my ... mum and sisters haven’t really moved since. My sisters have left home but none of them moved further than the next couple of towns, I have always been the more adventurous of the 4 of us”, Cesca smiled the memories of her childhood began to flood back, Cesca was always the one who would suggest the most outrageous idea or have the most unrealistic future, though she showed them, she had made a life for herself in England as a teacher. “Wow, that is a coincidence, haven’t been before if I’m truthful, always heard of its beauty, plus the sunshine is a bonus”, Cesca laughed whilst finishing her last mouthful of cream, “It is beautiful, but it does get a bit samey, I loved it there and still do to a degree but I wanted to experience somewhere else”, The pair began to finish their coffees as the three degrees came back from shopping, Harry was in a grump the girls wouldn’t spend long enough in Game so he wasn’t able to buy anything, Bex had purchased a new bikini ready to hit the beaches of Seville, whilst Jess seemed to have bought the entire range of Topshop items. “Jess” Karen moaned, this was somewhat of a regular occurrence, “the money was for something not an entire shop, now you’re going to go back and return some of the items”, Jess’s faces began to fume, “Mum”. “And give the change to Harry so he can go get the game he wants”, Harry’s face lit up, he was a quiet boy, not rowdy like the rest, Jess was the spoilt of the three, Bex took charge of them all, directing Jess back to Topshop and then going and helping Harry with a game, convincing him to buy one that was a little bit better. Bex was the eldest and was always there to support her little sister and brother at whatever cost. “I really do admire you Karen”, Cesca said as she finished her last sip of latte. “I don’t know what you admire, I just about get through the day with my kids”, “If that’s what you call that then you must be a saint”, An announcement came through just as the three children came back it told them all to head to gate 11. Cesca picked up her bag and headed on with the Fishers, she was rather enjoying the company of Karen, she was lovely once you got to know her and understood her. Cesca got her ticket and passport out of her bag, her hands were slightly shaking, it was one thing being a few miles away from Jonah and Mia but to be in another country was a completely different story and fitted on a completely different spectrum. Karen had noticed and gave her some reassuring words. They all boarded the plane, Karen offered to sit next to Cesca, Cesca was grateful for the company. She was finally thinking about the court case as well as just missing her family. Cesca thought the stress was over but it just kept adding to it. When Jonah and Cesca first got together, Cesca was tetchy, she was scared unsure. Despite being a risk taker this was defiantly one she didn’t want to take, but in the end she did and going to court for her mum was another that she had to succeed at. Harry sat next to his mum too as well as Cesca who was sitting by the window watching the clouds float past as the plane accelerated further and further into the sky, further and further away from her loved ones. Cesca soon turned to watch the Fisher’s, Harry and Karen were playing cards and the girls were reading each other’s horoscopes, it was a lovely sight, they were all so close, so committed. She began to wonder what life would be like in the future, Mia all grown up, at school. It was a scary thought but also a very delightful one. Cesca couldn’t find many things more satisfying than watching Mia develop and grow, it was a satisfying feeling, watching her grasp her first steps for example. Cesca began to doze off, it was a short flight but Cesca had been doing a lot of thinking and had warned herself out. If she was sleeping she wasn’t worrying, so this was a good place to be. Cesca was dreading every minute of being in Spain, she couldn’t wait to see her family again and be back home but it wasn’t for the best of reasons, she also had concocted different visions as to what her mum might look like, black eyes, bloody face. All thoughts that just made Cesca panic but also made her stronger as it gave her more strength to fight, fight for justice. Finally let go of the secrets and nightmares forever.
“Cesca” She called out, Cesca turned around with a face that showed no signs of happiness. “Come on”, Karen said suggesting they should sit down and talk, Cesca was grateful and followed, she wasn’t quite sure what to tell her but she felt like talking about how she was feeling hoped it might make her feel better. They both sat down on the cold, rather uncomfortable metal benches that lined the floor of the departure lounge; there were shops, cafes and restaurants. “Cesca, where’s Jonah?” Karen was worried that something had happened between the pair of them, they had fought so hard to be together, she really hoped that the whole thing wasn’t a teenage fling or crush, she was pleasantly relieved when Cesca replied with “He’s at home, with Mia”, her voice was slightly emotional, she was beginning to choke up, Cesca let out a cough attempting to clear her throat. “Home?” Karen asked, Cesca began to break down in tears, she pulled out her phone and gazed down at the photo of Jonah holding Mia when she was only a few hours old, she stroked her thumb across the screen as the tears began to pour. Karen wasn’t so reassured, this wasn’t the way you acted unless you weren’t together, something was up, something serious had happened but what?, “Cesca, what’s going on?”, Cesca tried to compose herself through the tears that just seemed to carry on running” It’s my dad”, She sniffed as she wiped the tears that were now steadily stopping and being replaced with hiccups. “Is he okay?”, Karen was showing complete fear, she was genuinely worried about Cesca’s dad, Cesca was a valued member of her staff, despite the past, her welfare mattered to Karen, whether they were in or out of school their titles didn’t change just because they were on holiday, she was still a head teacher and Cesca was still one of the teachers that worked at the school. “He’s facing court”, Karen was honestly quite shocked, she hadn’t expected that answer, she was almost envisioning Cesca saying her dad had, had a heart attack, but then she remembered that was her excuse for originally resigning. Cesca didn’t quite know how to tell Karen that her dad was a violent and very sick man, “ He ... he beat my mum”, Cesca whispered under her breathe, Karen gasped, this must have been hard for Cesca, she lives thousands of miles away there was no way for her to stop this from happening or be aware that it had. Cesca was beginning to feel the positive effects of opening up to Karen and began to tell her more, she needed someone other than Jonah, who would obviously always take her side on anything, to express how they felt about the whole situation, “So are you going out to support your mum?”, Karen asked, Cesca took a deep breath in before saying “I’m a witness in the case”. Karen couldn’t quite understand how Cesca could have seen anything, she had been at school for the past year, she hadn’t been out to Spain, her family had visited but that was all that Karen knew. Cesca put her out of her misery, “My relationship between me and my dad was a disaster, when I was younger about 13 I caught him... having an affair.”, Cesca paused before carrying on with her story, “He threatened me, giving me a kick, a warning as to what was to come, he told me to keep it a secret, if I was to ever tell my mum, it would kill her”, Cesca began to fiddle around with her phone once more, Karen was in complete shock, she thought that her family had, had it hard. But what had happened to Cesca was devastating, that poor women subjected to brutal harm for so many years, the guilt of holding a secret as dark as that with the sheer fear of being physically abused. “Cesca, I’m so sorry, how did you finally tell your mum?” Karen felt that being supportive was the best thing to do, she was a head teacher she knew the strength of talking about difficult situations; she knew that the power of talking really did make you feel better. “When I and Jonah were finally back together, we had to tell my parents......so I called them and that slowly led to arranging dates to visit. I was thrilled, I hadn’t seen my sisters and mum in a few months, they were so supportive of the whole situation and none of them judged me for falling in love”, Karen gave an awkward twitch, she felt awful. “Sorry Karen, that wasn’t aimed at you”, Karen smiled, she didn’t think it was, Cesca was simply telling her what had happened, and she wasn’t going to judge her for that. “It was great to know that they were there for me, but then I had the fear of my dad, I didn’t tell Jonah. He didn’t need to know the truth, but then it all came out slowly piece after piece.....he tried to hit Jonah, Mia was only a baby”, Cesca began to stress, Karen quickly gave her an arm, gently rubbing her back, reassuring her, allowing her to carry on “and then he turned to my mum, he always turned to my mum”, Cescas words were dark and full of sorrow, Karen understood every word, she felt pity for Cesca and most of all she understood why Jonah wasn’t there, she also knew like many of her other colleagues how stubborn Cesca could be and how she used asking for help as a last resort. She knew that Cesca would want to do this for her mum, she wasn’t a selfish person, she had a huge heart and wanted to please everyone except by doing this she wasn’t pleasing herself. “Come on, let’s go grab some coffee”, Cesca smiled at Karen’s words she was finding comfort in knowing someone at the airport, she wasn’t feeling so alone though was still experiencing the pain of the emptiness. The pair settled at a coffee shop, Karen insisted on paying, she felt it was the least she could do for Cesca after everything she had just told her, she knew this was to be a hard trip for her, going back home but not for the most pleasant reasons. “Here is you latte with caramel and whipped cream”, Cesca smiled, that was her favourite, Karen had been to enough out of school meetings to know that coffee would put a smile on her face, but not the same smile that Jonah gave her. “So where exactly are you going?” Karen said whilst stirring her coffee that was piping hot and pouring out with steam. “Seville, funnily enough, I grew up there and my ... mum and sisters haven’t really moved since. My sisters have left home but none of them moved further than the next couple of towns, I have always been the more adventurous of the 4 of us”, Cesca smiled the memories of her childhood began to flood back, Cesca was always the one who would suggest the most outrageous idea or have the most unrealistic future, though she showed them, she had made a life for herself in England as a teacher. “Wow, that is a coincidence, haven’t been before if I’m truthful, always heard of its beauty, plus the sunshine is a bonus”, Cesca laughed whilst finishing her last mouthful of cream, “It is beautiful, but it does get a bit samey, I loved it there and still do to a degree but I wanted to experience somewhere else”, The pair began to finish their coffees as the three degrees came back from shopping, Harry was in a grump the girls wouldn’t spend long enough in Game so he wasn’t able to buy anything, Bex had purchased a new bikini ready to hit the beaches of Seville, whilst Jess seemed to have bought the entire range of Topshop items. “Jess” Karen moaned, this was somewhat of a regular occurrence, “the money was for something not an entire shop, now you’re going to go back and return some of the items”, Jess’s faces began to fume, “Mum”. “And give the change to Harry so he can go get the game he wants”, Harry’s face lit up, he was a quiet boy, not rowdy like the rest, Jess was the spoilt of the three, Bex took charge of them all, directing Jess back to Topshop and then going and helping Harry with a game, convincing him to buy one that was a little bit better. Bex was the eldest and was always there to support her little sister and brother at whatever cost. “I really do admire you Karen”, Cesca said as she finished her last sip of latte. “I don’t know what you admire, I just about get through the day with my kids”, “If that’s what you call that then you must be a saint”, An announcement came through just as the three children came back it told them all to head to gate 11. Cesca picked up her bag and headed on with the Fishers, she was rather enjoying the company of Karen, she was lovely once you got to know her and understood her. Cesca got her ticket and passport out of her bag, her hands were slightly shaking, it was one thing being a few miles away from Jonah and Mia but to be in another country was a completely different story and fitted on a completely different spectrum. Karen had noticed and gave her some reassuring words. They all boarded the plane, Karen offered to sit next to Cesca, Cesca was grateful for the company. She was finally thinking about the court case as well as just missing her family. Cesca thought the stress was over but it just kept adding to it. When Jonah and Cesca first got together, Cesca was tetchy, she was scared unsure. Despite being a risk taker this was defiantly one she didn’t want to take, but in the end she did and going to court for her mum was another that she had to succeed at. Harry sat next to his mum too as well as Cesca who was sitting by the window watching the clouds float past as the plane accelerated further and further into the sky, further and further away from her loved ones. Cesca soon turned to watch the Fisher’s, Harry and Karen were playing cards and the girls were reading each other’s horoscopes, it was a lovely sight, they were all so close, so committed. She began to wonder what life would be like in the future, Mia all grown up, at school. It was a scary thought but also a very delightful one. Cesca couldn’t find many things more satisfying than watching Mia develop and grow, it was a satisfying feeling, watching her grasp her first steps for example. Cesca began to doze off, it was a short flight but Cesca had been doing a lot of thinking and had warned herself out. If she was sleeping she wasn’t worrying, so this was a good place to be. Cesca was dreading every minute of being in Spain, she couldn’t wait to see her family again and be back home but it wasn’t for the best of reasons, she also had concocted different visions as to what her mum might look like, black eyes, bloody face. All thoughts that just made Cesca panic but also made her stronger as it gave her more strength to fight, fight for justice. Finally let go of the secrets and nightmares forever.
