Chapter 53 - Facing the reality of your own mistakes
Marcus hesitantly tapped the numbers into his phone, he needed to talk now, sleeping on it would only make the situation worse and lead to him over thinking the possibilities, the outcomes and the reactions. Jonah, Cesca and Ruth were all there for him. It meant a lot to Cesca, Marcus had played such a big part in her life, helping her to be where she is today. If it weren’t for his kind words to the old bill then who knows how things would have turned out. Because of him Mia had been brought up by both of them, they were living together and now expecting two beautiful babies. Cesca never expected her life to be as complicated or outrageous as it had so far turned out, but she defiantly pictured a family with the one person she loved, at least that part was true. It was safe to say Cesca defiantly didn’t want it any other way. She loved her family, she loved being so happy, feeling so safe, feeling so wanted. Family really were the backbone to everybody, the support when you’re down and the love that is mutually shared. Cesca was sat on Jonah’s lap, who was sitting down on the sofa, her finger nails firmly placed in her mouth as Jonah wrapped his arms around her, she was nervous for Marcus, a baby never comes as easy news, even if you have already experienced it, it isn’t a simple mistake that can be overlooked, it’s a little life, every decision and every action counts towards that little tiny organisms life. Cesca’s toes clenched inside her pumps, Jonah’s grip grew tighter, Marcus bit his lip and Ruth paced across the floor, this was an all or nothing call. Marcus either tried to be a man and take responsibilities for his actions or he walked away like a coward, forgetting that any of this happened. But Marcus was too much of a gent so cleared his throat as he prepared for Hannah to answer the other end, Cesca was beginning to once again sense Jonah’s anger. She looked down at him, her hand found its way to his face; she gave him one of her innocent smiles, a sentence that needed no words. Jonah smiled back before reaching in for a kiss, Cesca couldn’t resist those perfect plump lips and was obliged to take them. Cesca snuggled in to Jonah as they all heard Marcus reply on the phone, “Hello”, he said in a nervous talk, “We need to talk”, Marcus just about managed to muster up, he was doing the right thing, he knew that this would only end up being a regret, he didn’t need any regrets, they just ate you up inside, losing who you truly are inside. The conversation was short and sweet but got to the main reason for calling, the fact the needed to talk about their baby. They had arranged to meet at a little coffee shop round the corner, they knew it well, spent their first date in there. It was sweet, nothing could have been better than a warm cup of coffee, a piece of cake and each other, Marcus still loved her, he always would despite what she did to him, he didn’t want to muck it up, he wasn’t intentionally going out of his way to get back with Hannah or start a fresh he just simply wanted to be able to get along and if that meant that their original feelings for one another got in the way than even better.
Marcus headed upstairs, he wanted to try and impress Hannah smarten up a little, Ruth was shying away a little the news had originally angered her, just like Jonah but now it almost sickened her, the thought of her parents conceiving a baby, they weren’t even together, this whole situation was messing with her head, she didn’t know whether this was a good thing or just another hurdle that was bound to get in the way and make life even harder than it already was. Ruth’s mum was carrying a baby, her little brother or sister. This was something that Ruth wasn’t going to be able to get over lightly so for Ruth’s sake she hoped that her mum wouldn’t be keeping it, after all it meant her burrowing her way back in to their lives and that was defiantly something Jonah and herself didn’t want. Jonah was tense, stiff and extremely tense; Cesca’s delicate hand clasped his as she got up. “We should probably go J it’s late, your dad needs to sort this out on his own, he knows you care. He needs some space and Mia needs her sleep, we all need our sleep”. Jonah held Cesca close, his arms pulling her towards his body, “Your right Ces, I just worry that this is all going to get worse, you haven’t seen the worst of my mum yet”, Cesca wanted to reassure him but knew that nothing was ever going to clear his mind and heart of the hatred he felt for his own mother, she didn’t blame him, she had hurt him, betrayed him and lost his trust. Jonah doesn’t take too easily to second chances, which is a good thing, means he isn’t prepared to be walked all over, he isn’t stupid. Cesca knew that this was going to be hard for Jonah, she was going to be there for him for once, another way of repaying him for everything that he does for her, being there for her, looking after their beautiful daughter and most importantly loving and wanting her. “J, he’ll be okay I promise and if everything does happen to go belly up, we’ll all be here to pick up the pieces”, Jonah held Cesca’s face before kissing her forehead and reaching down for her hand, “Ces, I’ll go get Mia. I can say goodbye to my dad then”, “Okay”, she said softly and as innocently as she watched her gorgeous husband walk up the stairs, and she stayed where she was, chatting to a rather tetchy Ruth. “I know this is hard Ruth”, Cesca began, she couldn’t leave the Kirby’s with Jonah knowing that Ruth was in a state, she was 19, this was obviously going to be hard news to take, she was at uni and had begun to have serious relationships, it was supposed to be her life that was increasing in size and people, but instead it was her parents, but not just her parents, her divorced, separated and single parents. Why was this happening? Why did everything always have to end in the worst possibly outcome? Why did Hannah have to come back? Why did her dad have to have slept with her? Why did Marcus have to always do the right thing? Ruth just wished that she could shut herself off from everything, close the doors, shut the curtains and never open them again. Ruth was slowly becoming more and more unlike herself; Cesca was there with open arms and her bump to comfort Ruth, who was now hysterically sobbing on her shoulder. “It’s okay, you’re not on your own, and you will always have me and Jonah. Look forget about the whole horror movie incident, it’s forgotten were family and we stick together”, Ruth lifted her head looking at Cesca as she finished her sentence; she wiped her eyes slightly embarrassed by how she had reacted.
Meanwhile upstairs Jonah had caught his dad putting on a rather flash stripy top; he looked really nice, causal but smart. just the way Marcus always dressed. “Dad, what are you doing?”, Jonah was shocked and slightly annoyed he knew exactly what his dad was up to, he had tried to be grown up about it all, tried to behave like the grown man he was, be the man of the house, the older brother, the husband and Mia’s dad. But it was no use; he couldn’t contain his anger and pure hatred any longer. “How can you even look at her”, Jonah’s face was filled with pure disgust, “Jonah”, Marcus tried to explain but Jonah was on full blast mood, his feelings were being ripped from his body as if they were being sliced with the sharpest of knives, they kept on flowing and flowing. “She cheated on you dad if you hadn’t remembered, she screwed up our family, and she caused mayhem. She’s trouble dad..... or did you just forget about all that, I mean it’s an easy thing to do, right?”, Jonah’s words were filled with sarcasm, “Son, she’s your mum, I will always love her”, “How can you love someone who hurt you so much, do you not remember me making you dinner and cleaning the house whilst you lay in bed all day drowning in your own sorrows”, Marcus was envisioning everything his son was saying, he was right, Hannah was bad news and maybe Jonah had just made him realise that he couldn’t fall in to her trap once more, he couldn’t be sucked in to her pit of evil. “Jonah, your right, I guess I haven’t allowed myself to see it all properly my head is just all over the place”, “Sorry dad, I didn’t mean to burst out at you, it’s just”, “Jonah, I will always love your mum, she was my true love, just like Cesca is yours. No one will ever make me feel the way she did, but she hurt us, destroyed the family and that wasn’t fair on your or Ruth”, “Or you”, Jonah butted in. “I’m an adult, I needed to be strong for your kids, but my point is I am never going to put you through that again. But I need you to understand I need to do the right thing I need to be there for my baby”, the words felt alien to him, baby? Was he really admitting to the idea of him being an older man expecting a baby? A tiny piece of joy brought into the most messed up and complicated family was that even fair? “Jonah I better go she’ll be waiting and you know what she is like when anyone’s late. I want to catch her on a good day.”, “Dad, I understand. You go do what you need to do, were going to go, it’s late and Mia needs to sleep, give us a call if you need us”, He gave his dad a manly hug before heading to get Mia from the spare room, she was asleep, sound asleep like a little angel, every part of her made Jonah’s heart melt, he couldn’t believe that she was a little part of him, a little part of Cesca and him combined, this thought always left a smile on his face. He picked her up and headed down towards Cesca who was waiting in the hallway, she smiled at him before saying goodbye to Ruth which was soon reciprocated by Jonah, they left the house, it was a relief to leave to be honest, that house was filled with too many colliding emotions, they just needed each other right now, needed to be with one another. Just to hold each other and be with one another. That all they wanted, simple but the best feeling in the world, there love really was the strongest of them all, it would bend but never break, never become undone or unwoven, the links were secure and padlocks securely locked. The doors of the car swung open as they reached their family home, Mia in Jonah’s arms, Cesca waddling over to unlock the door, her bump was slightly tender and her feet were definitely sore, all she wanted was Jonah’s arms and her comfy bed. Jonah headed upstairs to put Mia into her warm comfy bed before following Cesca into his, he wrapped his arms around her, holding and treasuring her bump, their two little babies just as one kicked, smiles were brought to their faces as kisses were shared. “I will always be here for you Jonah Kirby, your dad will be fine, he knows what she’s like and he knows what the right thing to do is. Just be there for him, this is going to be hard”,” Ces, I love you so much. Why is it that you always seem to say the right thing”? The pair cuddled up in the warm comfort of their bed, their skin touching and lips lingering every now and then, this was the calm and peace they needed to be preparing for their twins.
“J I’ve been thinking, we only have 2 months to go and our twins are going to unnamed if we’re not careful, somehow I don’t think it is going to be as easy as it was to name Mia, whilst we were at the hospital”, “I agree, what have you been thinking of then”, Jonah’s hand interlocked with Cesca’s as they calmly and romantically talked and discussed all the possible names for their little boy and girl. “Well I was thinking something pretty and unique for our little girl, what do you think?” “Well that rules out ellie and lucie that were ideas that I had floating around”, “Aww sorry, their just too commonly used, there lovely though”, “Don’t worry I’m not offended. Though I have had an idea for our little boy”, “Oo what? Been finding it really hard to be honest”, Cesca said, she was much more of a girly girl, she hadn’t really every envisaged herself with a son, she loved the idea of having one, but because she was so girly and in to fashion she had always loved the idea of having a pretty little girl (Mia). “Well I had been thinking... Oscar”, Cesca’s face lit up, her lips mouthing the name, “J, that’s perfect”, Jonah was surprised after his first few suggestions were forgotten, he rather liked the fact that he had come up with his son’s name, Oscar. “Our little Oscar”, Cesca said, finding Jonah’s hand and placing it on her bump with her hand on top, she felt a sudden nudge, “She is feeling left out”, Cesca giggled as she said this, “Alright little miss impatient”, Jonah directed this at his little girl. Cesca’s eyes wandered across the room as she began to say aloud different names in the attempt one might just crop up that suited everything they wanted it to be “Evie...Emmie....lily.......grace. Grace” Cesca seemed to find some attraction to this name but wasn’t sure on it, she looked at Jonah, “It’s a pretty name but I don’t think it’s really unique enough”, that coloured Cesca’s judgement on that name and she carried on, “Lola”, “Well that’s more unique but I’m not sure it’s the one”, Jonah said, Cesca carried on. “Mollie...Esme.....Eliza....”. “I like Eliza”, Jonah said, “Yeah I do to, but not sure how pleased she’s going to be when she hits her teens”, “True, but we deserve to be a little selfish, she’s our little girl before a big ugly teenager”, Jonah said, “Our little girl is defiantly not going to be ugly”, Cesca teased “Especially not since her mummy is so beautiful”, Cesca blushed, “All right, enough with the compliments, names!”, “Well I think we should use Eliza somewhere, it’s pretty and unique”, “Okay so you thinking Eliza for her middle name”, “I shall settle for that”, Cesca giggled okay so still looking for a name....Ella........Erin....Carly....Bella....Betsy”. Cesca stopped. “Betsy Eliza Kirby”, “Sounds beautiful Mrs Kirby”, Jonah kissed his wife before saying “Betsy and Oscar, Oscar and Betsy”, and his hand was still placed on her belly. “But what about Oscar’s middle name”, “We are defiantly middle name kind of people” Jonah laughed, Cesca smiled as Jonah rolled over to face Cesca as he proposed the idea that was rather close to his heart, “Well I have been thinking, he’s our little boy, our number one son. He should have my name, but then I thought that it might not flow to nicely so how about Jay, sounds like my initial, plus your always calling me it”, Cesca’s eyes welled, up it was a beautiful idea, plus she was extremely hormonal at the minute, she kissed him passionately, “That’s a beautiful idea, he’ll be proud to have his daddy’s name, I love you Jonah”. “I love you too”. Cesca stared down at her bump, “We love you Betsy Eliza and Oscar Jay”.
Marcus headed upstairs, he wanted to try and impress Hannah smarten up a little, Ruth was shying away a little the news had originally angered her, just like Jonah but now it almost sickened her, the thought of her parents conceiving a baby, they weren’t even together, this whole situation was messing with her head, she didn’t know whether this was a good thing or just another hurdle that was bound to get in the way and make life even harder than it already was. Ruth’s mum was carrying a baby, her little brother or sister. This was something that Ruth wasn’t going to be able to get over lightly so for Ruth’s sake she hoped that her mum wouldn’t be keeping it, after all it meant her burrowing her way back in to their lives and that was defiantly something Jonah and herself didn’t want. Jonah was tense, stiff and extremely tense; Cesca’s delicate hand clasped his as she got up. “We should probably go J it’s late, your dad needs to sort this out on his own, he knows you care. He needs some space and Mia needs her sleep, we all need our sleep”. Jonah held Cesca close, his arms pulling her towards his body, “Your right Ces, I just worry that this is all going to get worse, you haven’t seen the worst of my mum yet”, Cesca wanted to reassure him but knew that nothing was ever going to clear his mind and heart of the hatred he felt for his own mother, she didn’t blame him, she had hurt him, betrayed him and lost his trust. Jonah doesn’t take too easily to second chances, which is a good thing, means he isn’t prepared to be walked all over, he isn’t stupid. Cesca knew that this was going to be hard for Jonah, she was going to be there for him for once, another way of repaying him for everything that he does for her, being there for her, looking after their beautiful daughter and most importantly loving and wanting her. “J, he’ll be okay I promise and if everything does happen to go belly up, we’ll all be here to pick up the pieces”, Jonah held Cesca’s face before kissing her forehead and reaching down for her hand, “Ces, I’ll go get Mia. I can say goodbye to my dad then”, “Okay”, she said softly and as innocently as she watched her gorgeous husband walk up the stairs, and she stayed where she was, chatting to a rather tetchy Ruth. “I know this is hard Ruth”, Cesca began, she couldn’t leave the Kirby’s with Jonah knowing that Ruth was in a state, she was 19, this was obviously going to be hard news to take, she was at uni and had begun to have serious relationships, it was supposed to be her life that was increasing in size and people, but instead it was her parents, but not just her parents, her divorced, separated and single parents. Why was this happening? Why did everything always have to end in the worst possibly outcome? Why did Hannah have to come back? Why did her dad have to have slept with her? Why did Marcus have to always do the right thing? Ruth just wished that she could shut herself off from everything, close the doors, shut the curtains and never open them again. Ruth was slowly becoming more and more unlike herself; Cesca was there with open arms and her bump to comfort Ruth, who was now hysterically sobbing on her shoulder. “It’s okay, you’re not on your own, and you will always have me and Jonah. Look forget about the whole horror movie incident, it’s forgotten were family and we stick together”, Ruth lifted her head looking at Cesca as she finished her sentence; she wiped her eyes slightly embarrassed by how she had reacted.
Meanwhile upstairs Jonah had caught his dad putting on a rather flash stripy top; he looked really nice, causal but smart. just the way Marcus always dressed. “Dad, what are you doing?”, Jonah was shocked and slightly annoyed he knew exactly what his dad was up to, he had tried to be grown up about it all, tried to behave like the grown man he was, be the man of the house, the older brother, the husband and Mia’s dad. But it was no use; he couldn’t contain his anger and pure hatred any longer. “How can you even look at her”, Jonah’s face was filled with pure disgust, “Jonah”, Marcus tried to explain but Jonah was on full blast mood, his feelings were being ripped from his body as if they were being sliced with the sharpest of knives, they kept on flowing and flowing. “She cheated on you dad if you hadn’t remembered, she screwed up our family, and she caused mayhem. She’s trouble dad..... or did you just forget about all that, I mean it’s an easy thing to do, right?”, Jonah’s words were filled with sarcasm, “Son, she’s your mum, I will always love her”, “How can you love someone who hurt you so much, do you not remember me making you dinner and cleaning the house whilst you lay in bed all day drowning in your own sorrows”, Marcus was envisioning everything his son was saying, he was right, Hannah was bad news and maybe Jonah had just made him realise that he couldn’t fall in to her trap once more, he couldn’t be sucked in to her pit of evil. “Jonah, your right, I guess I haven’t allowed myself to see it all properly my head is just all over the place”, “Sorry dad, I didn’t mean to burst out at you, it’s just”, “Jonah, I will always love your mum, she was my true love, just like Cesca is yours. No one will ever make me feel the way she did, but she hurt us, destroyed the family and that wasn’t fair on your or Ruth”, “Or you”, Jonah butted in. “I’m an adult, I needed to be strong for your kids, but my point is I am never going to put you through that again. But I need you to understand I need to do the right thing I need to be there for my baby”, the words felt alien to him, baby? Was he really admitting to the idea of him being an older man expecting a baby? A tiny piece of joy brought into the most messed up and complicated family was that even fair? “Jonah I better go she’ll be waiting and you know what she is like when anyone’s late. I want to catch her on a good day.”, “Dad, I understand. You go do what you need to do, were going to go, it’s late and Mia needs to sleep, give us a call if you need us”, He gave his dad a manly hug before heading to get Mia from the spare room, she was asleep, sound asleep like a little angel, every part of her made Jonah’s heart melt, he couldn’t believe that she was a little part of him, a little part of Cesca and him combined, this thought always left a smile on his face. He picked her up and headed down towards Cesca who was waiting in the hallway, she smiled at him before saying goodbye to Ruth which was soon reciprocated by Jonah, they left the house, it was a relief to leave to be honest, that house was filled with too many colliding emotions, they just needed each other right now, needed to be with one another. Just to hold each other and be with one another. That all they wanted, simple but the best feeling in the world, there love really was the strongest of them all, it would bend but never break, never become undone or unwoven, the links were secure and padlocks securely locked. The doors of the car swung open as they reached their family home, Mia in Jonah’s arms, Cesca waddling over to unlock the door, her bump was slightly tender and her feet were definitely sore, all she wanted was Jonah’s arms and her comfy bed. Jonah headed upstairs to put Mia into her warm comfy bed before following Cesca into his, he wrapped his arms around her, holding and treasuring her bump, their two little babies just as one kicked, smiles were brought to their faces as kisses were shared. “I will always be here for you Jonah Kirby, your dad will be fine, he knows what she’s like and he knows what the right thing to do is. Just be there for him, this is going to be hard”,” Ces, I love you so much. Why is it that you always seem to say the right thing”? The pair cuddled up in the warm comfort of their bed, their skin touching and lips lingering every now and then, this was the calm and peace they needed to be preparing for their twins.
“J I’ve been thinking, we only have 2 months to go and our twins are going to unnamed if we’re not careful, somehow I don’t think it is going to be as easy as it was to name Mia, whilst we were at the hospital”, “I agree, what have you been thinking of then”, Jonah’s hand interlocked with Cesca’s as they calmly and romantically talked and discussed all the possible names for their little boy and girl. “Well I was thinking something pretty and unique for our little girl, what do you think?” “Well that rules out ellie and lucie that were ideas that I had floating around”, “Aww sorry, their just too commonly used, there lovely though”, “Don’t worry I’m not offended. Though I have had an idea for our little boy”, “Oo what? Been finding it really hard to be honest”, Cesca said, she was much more of a girly girl, she hadn’t really every envisaged herself with a son, she loved the idea of having one, but because she was so girly and in to fashion she had always loved the idea of having a pretty little girl (Mia). “Well I had been thinking... Oscar”, Cesca’s face lit up, her lips mouthing the name, “J, that’s perfect”, Jonah was surprised after his first few suggestions were forgotten, he rather liked the fact that he had come up with his son’s name, Oscar. “Our little Oscar”, Cesca said, finding Jonah’s hand and placing it on her bump with her hand on top, she felt a sudden nudge, “She is feeling left out”, Cesca giggled as she said this, “Alright little miss impatient”, Jonah directed this at his little girl. Cesca’s eyes wandered across the room as she began to say aloud different names in the attempt one might just crop up that suited everything they wanted it to be “Evie...Emmie....lily.......grace. Grace” Cesca seemed to find some attraction to this name but wasn’t sure on it, she looked at Jonah, “It’s a pretty name but I don’t think it’s really unique enough”, that coloured Cesca’s judgement on that name and she carried on, “Lola”, “Well that’s more unique but I’m not sure it’s the one”, Jonah said, Cesca carried on. “Mollie...Esme.....Eliza....”. “I like Eliza”, Jonah said, “Yeah I do to, but not sure how pleased she’s going to be when she hits her teens”, “True, but we deserve to be a little selfish, she’s our little girl before a big ugly teenager”, Jonah said, “Our little girl is defiantly not going to be ugly”, Cesca teased “Especially not since her mummy is so beautiful”, Cesca blushed, “All right, enough with the compliments, names!”, “Well I think we should use Eliza somewhere, it’s pretty and unique”, “Okay so you thinking Eliza for her middle name”, “I shall settle for that”, Cesca giggled okay so still looking for a name....Ella........Erin....Carly....Bella....Betsy”. Cesca stopped. “Betsy Eliza Kirby”, “Sounds beautiful Mrs Kirby”, Jonah kissed his wife before saying “Betsy and Oscar, Oscar and Betsy”, and his hand was still placed on her belly. “But what about Oscar’s middle name”, “We are defiantly middle name kind of people” Jonah laughed, Cesca smiled as Jonah rolled over to face Cesca as he proposed the idea that was rather close to his heart, “Well I have been thinking, he’s our little boy, our number one son. He should have my name, but then I thought that it might not flow to nicely so how about Jay, sounds like my initial, plus your always calling me it”, Cesca’s eyes welled, up it was a beautiful idea, plus she was extremely hormonal at the minute, she kissed him passionately, “That’s a beautiful idea, he’ll be proud to have his daddy’s name, I love you Jonah”. “I love you too”. Cesca stared down at her bump, “We love you Betsy Eliza and Oscar Jay”.
