Chapter 68 - Facing up to the past
“Nikki”, Cesca said startled, “Urmm can I have my necklace please”, Nikki knew what the situation was, she knew that they both knew, “Wait Nikki I think we need to talk”, Cesca said encouraging Nikki to come over and grab a chair, Tom began to walk off, “maybe hold off on that chat to Eleanor Tom, it might be better if this all comes from Nikki anyway”. Cesca was in a difficult position, she wasn’t exactly sure what she was about to talk about with Nikki her head was so full of stuff, so much had happened in just a couple of hours, so many things that had dragged up what seemed to be an ugly past. Waterloo road really did have a habit of creating and experiencing dramas, it was just like one long constant panto, there were ups but quite possibly more downs, Cesca was beginning to feel stressed as she began to try and talk about this with Nikki she started off by handing Nikki back her necklace, “I understand why this is so precious now”, “You do”, Nikki said back, she was feeling low now, not just confused. “Hey, don’t worry about all this, in fact it might be a good thing”, “How is this good thing?”, “Aye, listen to me. We are going to talk to ...your mum, she needs to know, you deserve to be able to hear her out”, “But now I’m not sure...I mean I always wanted to meet my mum, but what happens if she hates me, what do I do if she doesn’t want me”, “I for one can tell you that she won’t hate you if anything she is probably more mad at herself, children mean everything to a parent, you’re the one thing that keeps them going. Don’t be put off by her attitude, I admit she is a hard one to get through to, she has strong opinions but at the end of the day Nikki she is your mum, you deserve to have someone around that loves you, who cares for you, who is going to do everything they can for you”, Nikki began to sob, “I’ll tell you something if Mia my eldest daughter turns out to be anything like you, I will be one proud mummy”, Cesca said with a smile on my face, “You have a daughter miss?”, Nikki rubbed her eyes, “Yes, well I have 3 children”, “What are their names?”, Nikki asked, “Well Mia my eldest is 5 and I have 3 month old baby twins Betsy and Oscar”, “Miss that’s lovely”, “Well they have their moments, but I really don’t think I could be without them, your mum will feel the same, your her little girl, it won’t have been easy for her to give you up, you have to realise that and you have to realise that when you first speak it might not go quite how you want it to go, but you have to give it time. Don’t hate her because she did everything she could for you, you may feel like she gave up on you but the truth is she will have never stopped loving you”, Nikki burst into tears, Cesca gave her a hug, “Shh”, she tried to calm her down much like she did with her own children, except the reasons for the tears were much deeper here. There was a knock at the door, it was Jonah, “Hey, you ready to go”, Cesca was beginning to feel a little emotional to, “Give me a moment”, Jonah walked into the room and sat on one of the desks, it was weird to think 5 years ago he to sat in one of these desks but as a student. They pulled apart from the hug they were sharing, “Listen to me, take a deep breath and do this because you want to make a mends”, “Thank you miss”, “Nikki, I’m always here”, Nikki grabbed her coat and bag and headed off to find Mrs Chaudry, her mum.
Cesca sat in silence a tear gently rolled down her face, “Oh Ces”, Jonah walked over to his beautiful wife who was sat at her desk in tears, she stood up and wrapped her arms around her man, her head resting on his warm, solid chest. “Now tell me what the tears are all about”, “I really don’t know what I would do without you,Mia,Betsy or Oscar”, “I love you Ces, where has this all come from”, “Nikki, my new student...she....”, “Ces, you don’t have to tell me, it’s clearly upsetting you”,”J, please. I just need to get it off my chest”, Jonah held his beautiful wife, wiping away the tears that were delicately rolling like ever growing snowballs down her cheeks, “Eleanor’s her mum J”, “What?!”, Jonah was shocked, he thought he was hearing things, “I confiscated her necklace off her, she wouldn’t stop fiddling with it and I spoke to her about what was up but she didn’t say, then Eleanor walked in the room and Nikki went all quiet, she seized up, she wasn’t herself. So I later looked at her necklace... I know I shouldn’t have but I did and I found a picture it was off Eleanor with a message saying mummy loves you”, Cesca grabbed hold of Jonah.”I feel so guilty Jonah”, “Aye, why? You have done everything you can for Nikki, more than Eleanor has”, “Don’t say that Jonah you don’t know the circumstances, it might have been really hard for her”, “Okay sorry that was wrong of me to judge her”, Cesca broke away from his embrace and grabbed her stuff together, she placed her bag on her chair and filled it with her folders before pulling out a mirror, she turned and looked at Jonah, “Well, I can always count on you for not telling me I look like a panda”, Cesca smiled Jonah giggled, “But I like pandas”, Cesca used the mirror to help her see where to rub away the dark circles of mascara. “Come on Mrs, let’s get you home. How about a nice hot bath and I’ll cook us all dinner, how about we all watch Bambi, its Mia’s favourite”, “That sounds lovely, I think you might have just made one 5 year olds day”. Cesca smiled before passionately kissing her husband.
Meanwhile Nikki had reached Mrs Chaudry classroom, she knocked calmly twice before getting the response of “What”, Nikki calmly opened the door. “Miss ...can...I urmm speak to you”, “Me?”, “Yes”, “Can’t you see I am about to leave, I do have a life other than school you know!!, “I’ll go, sorry”, Nikki was almost in tears again, Cesca had warned her this might happen, she opened the door and headed for the school entrance, she couldn’t face the rejection not now, she didn’t want to face her...MUM again, she clearly didn’t want her, okay so she didn’t actually know that was her daughter who had so sheepishly knocked on her door but the point was she hadn’t exactly been willing to help. Tears rolled down Nikki’s face as she slowly approached the school entrance. Eleanor for once actually felt bad for how she had reacted and grabbed her stuff and headed to go and find Nikki, whatever she wanted to talk to her about must have been something important, Nikki didn’t seem like the kind of person who would waste someone’s time or purposely infuriate someone for the sake of it. Eleanor found herself power walking down the school corridors which were now completely empty, except for the odd student or teacher.
Jonah had finally managed to cheer his beautiful wife up, there weren’t any more tears and therefore no more panda eyes, her hand was delicately fitted into his, loving smiles plastered on their faces as they walked out to the school entrance they had just about reached the doors when a very hysterical Nikki came towards them, she went to turn around, hoped that Cesca hadn’t seen her, she didn’t want to burden her with anymore tears or sorrow but Cesca clearly had, “Nikki”, Cesca let go off Jonah’s grip as she sped over to a tear sodden Nikki,” What’s happened”, Jonah was now at Cesca’s side, he was there to support them all, “I went to see her and she wouldn’t even talk to me”, “What did she say exactly?”, Jonah asked, “ she said she had better things to be doing like going home”, Cesca held Nikki in her arms, this poor little girl was heartbroken, Cesca couldn’t imagine being in her shoes, this was one of those moments that you didn’t swear down on anyone, nobody deserved to not know who their mother or father was, no one deserved to not have a family.” Nikki, it was never going to be easy but she had no right to just not even talk to you, even just as a teacher she shouldn’t have reacted like that”, rapid footsteps approached them, “Oh this is just typical you isn’t it Eleanor, you don’t listen or think about anyone but yourself, this mess is all your fault”, “J”, Cesca tried to calm him down, “What exactly have I done”, Cesca looked at Nikki” Now is as good a time as any, you can do this”, Cesca encouraged Nikki to finally speak, Nikki stepped back from Cesca, Jonah wrapping his arm around his wife’s waste kissing her forehead to be there for her as they watched Nikki finally get her point across to Eleanor. Nikki’s eyes were still watery and teary as she spoke those famous, special words, the words that would explain everything to Eleanor without explaining a thing. “Nikki, I will always love you, my little angel mummy x”, Eleanor’s face welled with tears, this couldn’t be happening , none of this could be real, “Nikki, is that really you”, Cesca found herself being comforted by Jonah even more, he knew how hard she was finding this and to be fair he was finding it all quiet emotional to, “Mum”, Nikki said in response, Eleanor instantly wrapped her arms around her little girl, she pulled back a little taking in everything about her, this felt right, this really was her Nikki, after having her little girl ripped out of her arms those 12 years ago, she never expected to see her little girl all grown up again, she had missed all those special moments, watching her grow and develop and she hated herself for it, “I never stopped loving you Nikki as much as you might hate me”, “Mum, I don’t hate you, I just want answers”, “Let’s go, we’ll go back to mine and we can talk about this, yeah”, She said looking at her little girl with the biggest smile on her face, yet tears still streaming down her face, these were happy tears. Nikki headed out the school entrance realising that Eleanor was going to speak to Cesca and Jonah. “Thanks, I guess I have just proved to myself how obnoxious I am”, “Don’t apologise, just go and have some quality time with Nikki, you guys need it”, Cesca said, Jonah took Cesca’s hand “Oh Disney films go down well at any age”, Jonah called to Eleanor who smiled, “You’re soppy fish sometimes Jonah, I love you”, “You love soppy fish?”, “I do when their a Jonah Kirby”, Cesca smiled, Jonah’s hands wrapped around Cesca’s petite waist drawing her closer before sharing a long passionate kiss, “Right Bambi, don’t want to keep the DVD player waiting”, Cesca laughed, “As much as you like to think you funny your really not”, Cesca smiled before they both piled in to the car and headed home to spend some quality time with all of the Kirby’s but especially Mia, today had taught them that it really is important to have a strong bond.
Nikki had waited at the bottom of the steps for her mum, Eleanor walked down with a smile on her face and took Nikki’s hand, “Now I suggest you and me go home, we grab a pizza and some Ben and Jerry’s and sit down and watch a movie”, “I’d like that mum”, Nikki smiled, this really wasn’t how she thought it was all going to end up she definitely didn’t want to change it. “Eleanor”, Tom called from behind them, he walked down towards them, “You wanting to come to mine”, “Actually Tom I think I have a lot of making up to do with Nikki we have a lot to talk about”, Eleanor looked towards Nikki with a smile, “Mum, don’t change your plans because of me Mr Clarkson can come with us to”, Nikki smiled, “Looks like your invited”, Tom wrapped his arm around the girlfriends waist, they shared a sneaky kiss before all heading to Eleanor’s car, Tom had got a ride with her this morning so there wasn’t a lonely car sat in the school car park.
They all arrived at Eleanor house, they made their way into the living room, Tom didn’t take his coat or shoes off he felt the girls needed some alone time he knew how hard these things could be, “I’ll go grab the pizza and ice cream”, He smiled at Eleanor leaving the pair of them cuddled up on the sofa with Holly oaks in the background, “Listen to me Nikki, I never chose to let you go”, “You didn’t”,Nikki was so pleased to hear that she was wanted and not disowned as it were, “I fell pregnant with you when I was 18”, “mum that’s so young”, “It is, but I wanted you so much, we had a plan me and your dad, we had it all sorted we were going to move in together and raise you between the two of us”, “What happened”, “My mum and dad found out I was pregnant and said I had to get rid of you, I was too far gone to have a termination so...they put you up for adoption the moment you were born”, Eleanor was very emotional it was clear that she never wanted that to happen, Nikki was her little girl, her little piece of hope. “What happened between you and dad?”, Nikki asked, “We broke up after you were taken from us, your grandparents were so angry at him for getting me pregnant, they told him to leave and never come back and if he did then he would get what was coming to him”, Nikki gave her mum a hug, Eleanor was distraught, “But that doesn’t matter now, because I have you again, I missed all those special moments, moments that I’ll never get back”, “But we are going to have our own memories, let’s not dwell on the past mum we have each other and the whole future, I love you”, The girls shared a lovely evening together with Tom, a pizza and a tub of ice cream. Eleanor had spoken to the social about Nikki staying with her again and it had all been cleared, things were looking up as they began a new life together, Eleanor, Nikki and Tom who was beginning to become such a big part of Eleanor’s life.
Cesca sat in silence a tear gently rolled down her face, “Oh Ces”, Jonah walked over to his beautiful wife who was sat at her desk in tears, she stood up and wrapped her arms around her man, her head resting on his warm, solid chest. “Now tell me what the tears are all about”, “I really don’t know what I would do without you,Mia,Betsy or Oscar”, “I love you Ces, where has this all come from”, “Nikki, my new student...she....”, “Ces, you don’t have to tell me, it’s clearly upsetting you”,”J, please. I just need to get it off my chest”, Jonah held his beautiful wife, wiping away the tears that were delicately rolling like ever growing snowballs down her cheeks, “Eleanor’s her mum J”, “What?!”, Jonah was shocked, he thought he was hearing things, “I confiscated her necklace off her, she wouldn’t stop fiddling with it and I spoke to her about what was up but she didn’t say, then Eleanor walked in the room and Nikki went all quiet, she seized up, she wasn’t herself. So I later looked at her necklace... I know I shouldn’t have but I did and I found a picture it was off Eleanor with a message saying mummy loves you”, Cesca grabbed hold of Jonah.”I feel so guilty Jonah”, “Aye, why? You have done everything you can for Nikki, more than Eleanor has”, “Don’t say that Jonah you don’t know the circumstances, it might have been really hard for her”, “Okay sorry that was wrong of me to judge her”, Cesca broke away from his embrace and grabbed her stuff together, she placed her bag on her chair and filled it with her folders before pulling out a mirror, she turned and looked at Jonah, “Well, I can always count on you for not telling me I look like a panda”, Cesca smiled Jonah giggled, “But I like pandas”, Cesca used the mirror to help her see where to rub away the dark circles of mascara. “Come on Mrs, let’s get you home. How about a nice hot bath and I’ll cook us all dinner, how about we all watch Bambi, its Mia’s favourite”, “That sounds lovely, I think you might have just made one 5 year olds day”. Cesca smiled before passionately kissing her husband.
Meanwhile Nikki had reached Mrs Chaudry classroom, she knocked calmly twice before getting the response of “What”, Nikki calmly opened the door. “Miss ...can...I urmm speak to you”, “Me?”, “Yes”, “Can’t you see I am about to leave, I do have a life other than school you know!!, “I’ll go, sorry”, Nikki was almost in tears again, Cesca had warned her this might happen, she opened the door and headed for the school entrance, she couldn’t face the rejection not now, she didn’t want to face her...MUM again, she clearly didn’t want her, okay so she didn’t actually know that was her daughter who had so sheepishly knocked on her door but the point was she hadn’t exactly been willing to help. Tears rolled down Nikki’s face as she slowly approached the school entrance. Eleanor for once actually felt bad for how she had reacted and grabbed her stuff and headed to go and find Nikki, whatever she wanted to talk to her about must have been something important, Nikki didn’t seem like the kind of person who would waste someone’s time or purposely infuriate someone for the sake of it. Eleanor found herself power walking down the school corridors which were now completely empty, except for the odd student or teacher.
Jonah had finally managed to cheer his beautiful wife up, there weren’t any more tears and therefore no more panda eyes, her hand was delicately fitted into his, loving smiles plastered on their faces as they walked out to the school entrance they had just about reached the doors when a very hysterical Nikki came towards them, she went to turn around, hoped that Cesca hadn’t seen her, she didn’t want to burden her with anymore tears or sorrow but Cesca clearly had, “Nikki”, Cesca let go off Jonah’s grip as she sped over to a tear sodden Nikki,” What’s happened”, Jonah was now at Cesca’s side, he was there to support them all, “I went to see her and she wouldn’t even talk to me”, “What did she say exactly?”, Jonah asked, “ she said she had better things to be doing like going home”, Cesca held Nikki in her arms, this poor little girl was heartbroken, Cesca couldn’t imagine being in her shoes, this was one of those moments that you didn’t swear down on anyone, nobody deserved to not know who their mother or father was, no one deserved to not have a family.” Nikki, it was never going to be easy but she had no right to just not even talk to you, even just as a teacher she shouldn’t have reacted like that”, rapid footsteps approached them, “Oh this is just typical you isn’t it Eleanor, you don’t listen or think about anyone but yourself, this mess is all your fault”, “J”, Cesca tried to calm him down, “What exactly have I done”, Cesca looked at Nikki” Now is as good a time as any, you can do this”, Cesca encouraged Nikki to finally speak, Nikki stepped back from Cesca, Jonah wrapping his arm around his wife’s waste kissing her forehead to be there for her as they watched Nikki finally get her point across to Eleanor. Nikki’s eyes were still watery and teary as she spoke those famous, special words, the words that would explain everything to Eleanor without explaining a thing. “Nikki, I will always love you, my little angel mummy x”, Eleanor’s face welled with tears, this couldn’t be happening , none of this could be real, “Nikki, is that really you”, Cesca found herself being comforted by Jonah even more, he knew how hard she was finding this and to be fair he was finding it all quiet emotional to, “Mum”, Nikki said in response, Eleanor instantly wrapped her arms around her little girl, she pulled back a little taking in everything about her, this felt right, this really was her Nikki, after having her little girl ripped out of her arms those 12 years ago, she never expected to see her little girl all grown up again, she had missed all those special moments, watching her grow and develop and she hated herself for it, “I never stopped loving you Nikki as much as you might hate me”, “Mum, I don’t hate you, I just want answers”, “Let’s go, we’ll go back to mine and we can talk about this, yeah”, She said looking at her little girl with the biggest smile on her face, yet tears still streaming down her face, these were happy tears. Nikki headed out the school entrance realising that Eleanor was going to speak to Cesca and Jonah. “Thanks, I guess I have just proved to myself how obnoxious I am”, “Don’t apologise, just go and have some quality time with Nikki, you guys need it”, Cesca said, Jonah took Cesca’s hand “Oh Disney films go down well at any age”, Jonah called to Eleanor who smiled, “You’re soppy fish sometimes Jonah, I love you”, “You love soppy fish?”, “I do when their a Jonah Kirby”, Cesca smiled, Jonah’s hands wrapped around Cesca’s petite waist drawing her closer before sharing a long passionate kiss, “Right Bambi, don’t want to keep the DVD player waiting”, Cesca laughed, “As much as you like to think you funny your really not”, Cesca smiled before they both piled in to the car and headed home to spend some quality time with all of the Kirby’s but especially Mia, today had taught them that it really is important to have a strong bond.
Nikki had waited at the bottom of the steps for her mum, Eleanor walked down with a smile on her face and took Nikki’s hand, “Now I suggest you and me go home, we grab a pizza and some Ben and Jerry’s and sit down and watch a movie”, “I’d like that mum”, Nikki smiled, this really wasn’t how she thought it was all going to end up she definitely didn’t want to change it. “Eleanor”, Tom called from behind them, he walked down towards them, “You wanting to come to mine”, “Actually Tom I think I have a lot of making up to do with Nikki we have a lot to talk about”, Eleanor looked towards Nikki with a smile, “Mum, don’t change your plans because of me Mr Clarkson can come with us to”, Nikki smiled, “Looks like your invited”, Tom wrapped his arm around the girlfriends waist, they shared a sneaky kiss before all heading to Eleanor’s car, Tom had got a ride with her this morning so there wasn’t a lonely car sat in the school car park.
They all arrived at Eleanor house, they made their way into the living room, Tom didn’t take his coat or shoes off he felt the girls needed some alone time he knew how hard these things could be, “I’ll go grab the pizza and ice cream”, He smiled at Eleanor leaving the pair of them cuddled up on the sofa with Holly oaks in the background, “Listen to me Nikki, I never chose to let you go”, “You didn’t”,Nikki was so pleased to hear that she was wanted and not disowned as it were, “I fell pregnant with you when I was 18”, “mum that’s so young”, “It is, but I wanted you so much, we had a plan me and your dad, we had it all sorted we were going to move in together and raise you between the two of us”, “What happened”, “My mum and dad found out I was pregnant and said I had to get rid of you, I was too far gone to have a termination so...they put you up for adoption the moment you were born”, Eleanor was very emotional it was clear that she never wanted that to happen, Nikki was her little girl, her little piece of hope. “What happened between you and dad?”, Nikki asked, “We broke up after you were taken from us, your grandparents were so angry at him for getting me pregnant, they told him to leave and never come back and if he did then he would get what was coming to him”, Nikki gave her mum a hug, Eleanor was distraught, “But that doesn’t matter now, because I have you again, I missed all those special moments, moments that I’ll never get back”, “But we are going to have our own memories, let’s not dwell on the past mum we have each other and the whole future, I love you”, The girls shared a lovely evening together with Tom, a pizza and a tub of ice cream. Eleanor had spoken to the social about Nikki staying with her again and it had all been cleared, things were looking up as they began a new life together, Eleanor, Nikki and Tom who was beginning to become such a big part of Eleanor’s life.
